MACQUARIE BANK
Daily Telegraph - May 2007

WHEN I heard this week that Macquarie Bank failed to buy Qantas, I decided to flash my e-tag a few extra times as I went through the Westlink tollbooth. It seems a trivial gesture, but every little bit counts and I'm sure I wasn't the only one who wanted to help out a struggling business.

Seriously though: could Macquarie Bank be any more huge? Is it sure it has enough money? What the hell is “private equity” anyway?

I’ve spent the last two weeks reading stories about the Qantas sale and am not ashamed to say that I did not understand a single word. If the saga taught me anything, however, it is that, regardless of whether I approve or understand, big business rules the world.

This doesn't make it inherently bad: the same could be said of physics. The difference, however, is that the laws of gravity are not governed by men called Christopher who wear pink shirts and drink at The Establishment.

Of course, an understanding of the Qantas affair would have been greatly aided by some idea of what it is that Macquarie Bank actually does.

US blogger Jeff Matthews tries his best to explain: “What Macquarie figured out was this: it could buy public utilities such as airports, bridges and toll roads, package and resell those assets to Australian asset managers looking to redeploy the cash being accumulated by that country's public pension plan, and take out fees along the way.”

Sorry: what's an “asset manager”? Why does he own my road? Is “redeploying” cash the same as spending it? If Macquarie Bank had bought Qantas would it have meant free booze on domestic flights? Why do I feel like I'm being screwed but am not sure how?

I don't think I'm alone when I get the sneaking suspicion that increasingly large slices of this country’s future are being put in the hands of types like Patrick Bateman who answer to a man sitting in a leather swivel chair, flexing his mechanical hand.

At least in the days of Skase and Bond you could put a mug shot to the name. Do you know who runs Macquarie Bank? Neither do I, but every time I have to pay seven bucks for half an hour of parking at the airport I think of him.

For all I know Macquarie Bank is a stellar company run by nuns who give carbon credits to orphans at Christmas. The fact remains, however, that they, and similar companies, are frighteningly ubiquitous yet I am powerless over them.

The wisdom of the free market is creating a world where people are distant from and alienated by the forces that control their lives. In an election year, the Government should remember that “economic realities” are no match for the more tangible realities of a $4 traffic jam.

© Brendan Shanahan 2008